Originally Posted by
Sohard 
I don't know why I've had so much trouble starting, stopping, starting.
My guess is that it's the same problem most of had - we didn't fully accept that we are alcoholics/addicts. You mention reading about naltrexone and thinking that it would be OK to drink again - that's classic alcoholic/addictive thinking. There is no pill or technique that can take away our addictive tendencies. Sure, some of them can help with cravings or make you sick if you drink, but at the end of the day that's just treating the symptoms - not the problem. And your addiction will run wild trying to make you believe that there is some hope that you will eventually be able to drink again.
Using consequences is not usually an effective long term strategy either - because they always fade away eventually. I can't even count the number of times I professed that I would never drink again because of something I did the night before when I was drunk, or because of a massive hangover/withdrawals, etc. But even severe withdrawals eventually go away.
For me the only solution was to unconditionally accept that I can never take even one drink. There is simply something different about me that wont' allow me to drink alchol in a conrolled fashion. I also had to accept that I can NEVER change that part of me...no pill, no therapy, no technique, no process.
BUT - I can learn new ways to live my life without alcohol...and so can you.