I am not an alcoholic and I don't like being told what to do.
Part of my alanon program and something I say way to much on these boards is that there are no rights or wrongs. What is right for me may be a horror to you.
When I came to the program I did do what I was told because what I was already doing wasn't working. But that was from the people in my program and my sponsor. It was a choice I made. I did not do what I was told by my family.
Perhaps your son is suggesting that you allow him to do it his way. That is after all how he will do it in the end.
Hugs,
JT