Thanks all. I feel much better. So, this is my new day #2. I don't know why I've had so much trouble starting, stopping, starting. I do, of course, believe I'm DONE after the horrible night I had last night. NO sleep but I survived and am at work and know I've made it through (through this experience, at least). I think I just got all messed up on my recovery timeline because I was doing well (10 days or so, not 19 as I said above, that was an error), but then read about/heard about Naltrexone. I took it, that made all cravings go away, I foolishly thought I could drink, then I was just all messed up in the head. It was a fantasy to believe that that drug could make everything 100% better for me overnight (although I know for sure it helps others) - it really ended up hurting by making me overly confident. So, I begin again (although at this point I'm sure no one believes I'll be successful). I have to believe it, though. I have to. I have to believe I'm going to look back on all this and think "whew! I'm so glad I'm now one of the one's who is years sober - an old timer - now happy and content and giving advice to the newbies". I really want that. I'm trying. Thank you for your support. I feel good to be on day #2.