Sohard

Okay, I went something like 19 days sober, which started as hell but slowly got better. Since then, I've been off and on. I had had a few days of total sobriety (4?) until November 24th. Then I drank 2 bottles of wine on the 25th, 26th, and 27th. I finally got myself to stop after I finished the bottle last night.

I have HORRIBLE withdrawal feelings right now. HORRIBLE. I didn't think I would after only 3 days of drinking. I'm just scared. How can this be when just 4 nights ago I was sober and NOT feeling this way?!?!

I'm scared. So, so scared. I'm trying to sleep but I awoke to what I now know is a minor seizure (it's amazing how you have no idea what it feels like until you have it, then you know just exactly what it is).

I'm just so scared. I know no one here can take that way from me, but I thought I'd put it out into the universe. And I know if I get through this evening, I'll never (hopefully) have to go through another night one, I just don't know why I'm in such hell or if I am going to make it. I wish I had a bottle of wine here. NOT to drink, but to have in case I need it. Like, medically. This is honestly frightening.

I know no one here is a doctor, but has anyone had a seizure before and what did you do?? Did it happen again right after, or was it a one time thing you went through? Can I at least think, 'if I make it through the night I'm likely in the clear??' I need something to hang on to. I have an old prescription of xanax and I'm debating taking one but I want to be drug free. Do you think I should??!!