You guys, I feel so horrible. I texted him a happy thanksgiving and I got a response but he seemed just unaffected, not interested. I don’t know what I was expecting! I certainly wasn’t expecting to start anything up again. I wasn’t even expecting a response. But the lack of interest left me feeling horrible.
I started reading out my 4th step on Saturday, but after 5 hours, we needed a break. So I’ll be continuing on Tuesday. I just want to play God. I swear I’d make sure everyone else was happy if I could just get this one thing. I sooo badly want a family.
I’m just unhappy. Thinking of what I don’t have. Jealous of those who have what I want. And so jealous of this guy’s ex that has children and some connection to him.
I don’t know how to get over this!! I just want to be happy with what I have and hopeful for the future once again. I want to trust god again.