I do appreciate the fact that many of my questions only I can answer. I also believe that leaving the end stage alcoholic isn't always the only way. I married for better or worse. This is certainly the worst, but not reason that I believe I should leave. We've been married for 18 years now. It hasn't all been like this. I really believe that better times will come. Something must force him to stop. I know that it's not me and it's not my children. It's not medical scares. I've been reading several Facebook AlAnon support groups and this and other online groups. My life is no where near as chaotic as many. We pay our bills. There's no physical abuse. There's no verbal abuse. Maybe I'm being delusional. I just really cannot see leaving when he's down. He has a host of physical disabilities. I wouldn't leave because he has COPD and doesn't do his exercises to build strength.