Thank you all so so much. LostinLB, your story really got to me. I was in that phase of “oh this addiction is not so bad, not compared to others” for a while now. I know I made the right decision, but honestly I wish i could fast forward this all. I don’t know if it’s because he was my first love, and first ever boyfriend that is making it even more painful, but i knew that i couldn’t live a happy life with someone who was doing drugs. To be honest, i think i wouldve “dumb down” or “lessen” the issue even more because of how he would talk about it. His family are extremely supportive and loving but sometimes i got the feeling that they would just baby him and lessen the severity of the situation like it was no big deal. (note: his mother went through this with his dad)
His mother took over complete control of his finances early this hear so that he could save some money, pay his debts, and rent. He had no debit or credit and relied only with a small allowance for food and gas money. He still somehow managed to take money from his account through e-transfering money from his bank app to pay for his coke. When his mom got worried, she called me, but i never guessed it was that, he would admit to me that he would use his pay pass to by junk food. I believe now that his mother was trying to tell me something.. Nonetheless, i feel like i made the right decision and take it for what it was and not what it WASNT. I Think id rather suffer through the pain acutely now, than suffer years of this in the future with him.
I’m wondering something though... he always did have ADHD, even as a child. Hes extremely impulsive (as you read), difficult time remembering things, unable to keep a steady job (max 1 year was his longest... he mustve gone through at least 10-12 different jobs since i met him) and has incredible hyperfocus. Could that predispose someone to develop addiction?
As I read these threads, all i can think about is:
-Im not living with him, if i was, id probably be in debt too.
-Im not married to him nor do i have children with him, so i guess in some respect i’m “lucky”.
-with his constantly changing low paying jobs, i wouldnt get the life i dreamed of; stability and a decent place.
-i would just be constantly worried and nagging about everything.
I know my decision was the best i could make, even if it was him breaking up with me. But i made the choice to not put up a fight this time. He told me he had to focus on his recovery and not me or the relationship which i understand, but i think i’tll get better soon.