Hi all!
So I'm on day 12 now and for the most part feeling good. I haven't had many urges to drink and every day I feel reassured that I have made the best decision for my life . Little background on me..I was always a social drinker. When I drank socially it was always to a point of getting VERY drunk. The last time this happened was 13 days ago and I knew that was it. I simply can not drink. Fortunately I never kept alcohol in the house so my drunken days/nights were limited to 2-3 days a week. But they were bad.
I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Largely stems from all types of abuse from the ages of 13-20. I have severe anxiety and panic attacks. My depression has actually already improved since my last drink. I'm very thankful for that!
So, short story long..I'm having severe anxiety with attending AA meetings. I went to one a week ago and did like it. Since then my social anxiety has gone through the roof and I have felt paralyzed at the thought of attending another in the near future. In the past I would just drink to deal with social situations...not happening now!
I do see a psychotherapist, I am reading the big book, I get on here and read and I have a friend who started his own AA meeting that has been kind enough to spend a lot of time talking to me in the past week and a half. This has all helped tremendously. I just can't seem to get comfortable right now with the idea of being in a group setting.
I guess my question is...is it ok to do this "my" way for a bit until I feel comfortable enough to attend? I do feel like if I got to the point where I was on the verge of drinking I would just deal with the anxiety and get myself to a meeting...but so far that hasn't happened.
I guess I'd just love some feedback since I'm so new to all of this. When they say that all your emotions , etc are heightened they aren't kidding
