I completely understand where you are! I too am trying to figure out what to do. I have come to the decision that I will not be here to help my husband unless he gets help. 2 days ago he came home beaten and bloody and actually checked himself into detox. He has never even expressed that he needs help before. Basically, he is a functioning drunk. No one, other than family, knows he has a problem.
Currently I am not allowed to speak with him more than once a day (by phone). But, will be meeting with him tomorrow. I am going to try to be strong and let him know that I will be here for him if he continues to get help.
I cannot continue to live walking on egg shells, hiding things, protecting my children from and angry drunk or angry dry drunk!
Be strong! Let him know that you love him and want to help but need to take care of yourself. You will be no good to anyone unless you take care of yourself. Try AlAnon. I have begun that route and it has been helping me.
NoDoubt