I enjoy water color painting. When I was drinking it simply didn’t happen. Painting is by far my most fragile artistic expression and it is difficult for me “to get there” at any time, but simply impossible if I’m drinking. Drinking dulls my emotions, which is obviously why I drank, but that also removed the ability to “see” instead of releasing it. Does anyone else see colors when the thoughts are passing through your mind? The other thief is depression, I only get greys when my depression is leaning on me.