My exah hated Christmas with a passion. He never in 20 years of marriage sat down to one single family Christmas meal. He would stand in the kitchen glowering and getting drunk until he passed out on the kitchen floor. Every year I spent Christmas night sat by myself listening to him snoring in the kitchen. I did that for years. One year I booted him out on Boxing Day cos I was so angry over how he'd behaved.
My point is you do not have to put up with this. If he refuses to participate have him go somewhere else. You do not want him there as a depressing presence on the holiday. Recovering or not as he is not working a programme the result is the same.
My take on this is he is sulking and trying to manipulate you cos he can't drink and is probably hoping you will say he can "just for the holidays" and if so he is nowhere near sobriety.