Thank you all for your kind replies and support. I guess it hit me hard cos the consequences of his addictions are now so glaring. He's gone from 6 beers a night to near death in 22 years. He's going to die and he has nearly achieved his aim of drinking himself to death. The cancer originated in his stomach and is fairly classic for alcoholics and especially 60 a day smokers. He's had the symptoms for years so the outlook is very bleak for him. He wants to die. He's never been happy...not as a child or adult...not ever. I pity him while I stand back and watch but not get involved. My focus is on his kids now and making our new house a home and concentrating on my uni degree. I feel hollow inside tho. I want to wipe out the last 25 years but of course I can't.
I know we will be OK. My son's will rage and scream and act out but eventually we will be OK again.
