Hi Gazelle and welcome
I can relate to the "mourning a loss of a friend" as Alcohol ripped me away from all things I enjoyed in life, it isolated me and alienated me from friends and society. So much so it became my comfort and it was all I knew, we relied on each other.
Breaking the cycle is difficult but one that can be broken, which opens you up to all the good things in life.
I dont focus or dwell on the "im an alcoholic" terminology as it can feel overwhelming, I instead focus on that alcohol doesnt bring me happiness and do not need it to live a healthy/happy life.