Hi and welcome Grrrlnextdoor
you've identified a number of red flags and I think it would be silly to ignore those.
The good parts of your relationship sound great, but the less than good bits sound bad.
I'm particularly concerned about the abuse because verbal abuse is abuse and can escalate.
I think you have to at least consider a future where he doesn't get help, and things don't get better...
I'm sure that not the future you want, or your kids want?