Letting go of guilt was a tough one for me too, Ilovemysonjj. What kind of mother was I to stop trying to save my son... even though he didn't want saving? I finally got it that thinking I could save him was an illusion. Only HE could save himself if and when he was ready.
Finding my own recovery meant that I didn't have to go down with him. Let go or be dragged became my mantra.
Letting go of the problem and embracing the solution was a miracle in action in my life.