GrayP

I've never spoken openly about my relationship with alcohol sober before. I've only ever spoken with my best friend about it whilst we have both been drunk. I am 27 and at a stage in my life where I want to start bettering myself. I truly believe I am an alcoholic and need to stop drinking. I would not speak openly with family as I wouldn't want to burden them (though I know they would be supportive). The only other people in my life who I could confide in are my best friend and his family, but they can be very selfish and concerned with their own problems and no one else's. I have known my best friend for over 15 years, and as much as we have many fun, nice memories together, for the past 5 years or so, I don't think there's been a single evening spent together where we weren't drinking ourselves into oblivion and inevitably arguing or becoming passive aggressive with one another. I have expressed concern about my drinking in the past with him, as I say, and what I find most irritating is that when I pledge to go sober. Etc. I get no support, in fact, the opposite, it's more like I'm being spurred on to give in to drinking with him, and I'm sure it pleases him. I'm sure he has an alcohol problem too but of course I would never think it my place to dictate how he should spend his life. I have decided to really give it a go this time, so thought I should find some kind of support to make up for the lack of support I'm finding in those around me. I've downloaded a habit tracker app thingy so I can record my sober streak and hopefully that will be some extra initiative for me to persevere with this. Sorry for waffling haha.