Welcome woowinnie! Let me just say this: we can change. Huge changes to our lives begin by taking the smallest steps. My philosophy and beliefs regarding addiction have changed and developed during my two years of sobriety, and this idea of "we can and do change" is now a huge part of my recovery and belief system. Domestication, fear of change, and this prevailing societal thought of "people don't change" are things that stand in the way. I'm a different person today than I was two years ago and freeing myself of the chains of addiction has proved to me that even more and greater changes are ahead of me. You can do this. Start small and recognize that every small change will lead to much, much bigger things. Stay positive. Good luck!