Veronica

My AH relapsed after 9 months sober. The drinking wasn't the part that hurt - it was the lying (oh, and driving our cars intoxicated). My AH has always been a "lucky" drunk and rarely has serious consequences from work, etc. This time appears to be the exception and he wants to blame everyone except himself. I called him on it morning (I got tired of hearing about how everyone was ganging up on him and he had done nothing to deserve this) and he got upset because I was "yelling" at him (actually, I never even got upset or raised my voice). Here's what I am really ticked about:
(1) He decided on his own volition to stop taking his anti-depressants. He's self medicated in the past (i.e. started/stopped meds without consulting his doctor) and it's been disasterous. We've talked about this in the past and he said he would stop doing it, yet when it comes right down to it, he does whatever he wants. Just prior to his relapse he even order prescription meds online to the tune of several hundred dollars! (I've since taken him off of our credit cards, so he can't repeat this.) And last night, he said he was going to stop taking one of his meds without consulting his doctor. $@#!%@#!
(2) The day he relapsed, he happened to also have an appointment with his psychiatrist and his Dr. tested him for bipolar. My AH was intoxicated, so not surpringly, the test results were probably skewed. The Dr. put him on bipolar medicine based on the test results.
(3) Two days after my AH relapsed, he had to go out of town for two weeks for training for work. My AH was completely bottomed out with depression and guilt and was far from his normal self. My AH asked me to call his primary doctor and find out if there is anything he could do. The dr. said he should come home. My AH opted not to. My AH's psychiatristic called in a prescription for his anti-depressant to help ease the transition to the bipolar meds and, after only one day, that seemed to help balance him out. Well, for the two days that he was unbalanced, let's just say he had a tought time at the training and his immediate supervisor asked him to go home until he felt better. My AH explained the medicine situation to his supervisor and now the HR department wants to have a doctor check him out to see if he should be on disability or if he is able to work (my AH wants to work and thinks everything is being blown out of proportion).

So, I'm a little angry. I'm trying to be supportive and understanding, but what the #$^%&*! He screwed up taking the bipolar test while drunk, he was the one who refused to listen to his doctor about coming home...but, now he thinks that everyone is ganging up on him?? He's not taking any responsibility for his actions - he couldn't control the effects of the medicine, I get that, but he could control his decision not to work his AA program and all that led up to his relapse. He's giving me lip service: "I know I screwed up," but it doesn't seem like he really believes that. How can he seriously think that all this is happening becuase one person in his training program doesn't like him??? He got fired from his last job (before the 9 months of sobriety) because of his drinking and he thought everyone was ganging up on him then too! You've got to be kidding me! He stopped going to AA meetings several months before his relapse because he had a "valid" excuse every time. I'm really tired of the excuses and the poor-me attitude. I just want to scream!! So, thanks for letting me vent.