Berrybean

Firstly I'd like to offer condolences for the loss of your dog. It must have been majorly tough, and 'life' happening on top of that must have felt too much to handle.

BUT... you know, actually it would not have been too much to handle. Did you really think the drink would be a solution? Or was it more of an 'eff it' drink taken in anger at life being 'unfair' (which, incidentally, it has a habit of being - and that doesn't change because any of us get sober).

Anyway - regardless. More important is what you plan to do now.

My suggestion would be to resolve no more alcohol and to commit to learning different ways of dealing with life on life's terms (stressful situations, boredom, insecutity, and lots more). That is basically what 'Recovery' is. And, as I found out, Sobriety without Recovery pretty much stinks. Recovery is what makes it bearable, then sustainable, then comfortable, and eventually preferable to our old lives.

Of course all that takes time, and I know that I was very pleased to have the folk here and at AA to help me decipher how best to deal with certain things when I was first sober otherwise no doubt my old faulty-solition (alcohol / emotional oblivion) could easily have seemed the only answer as well. And when I finally DID commit to building on my recovery, and working on that as hard as I'd worked on my drinking, then things started improving and I started knowing (for myself) how to handle situations. Honestly, recovery can be pretty amazing - but it all starts with being sober.

BB