Thank you all for the support.
Originally Posted by
ScottFromWI 
Thanks for the reminder SoberN. Glad you made it back out and chose to come tell us as well. You are absolutely spot on...if you give your addiction/AV even the tiniest crack to come back in the door, it will take advantage.
Have you given any though to what you might change or add to your toolbox/plan the next time those thoughts pop up?
I realise the primary reasons for my relapse:
- I don't checked HALT (I was hungry and Lonely when that happens).
- I listenned to my AV and trust in the Euphoric Recall (I cannot post links here, but those who do not know the term can Google it)
- I used to run in streets on my days off, but this day my ankle was bruised. (Always have a plan B)
In my opinion, the most serious was the Euphoric Recall. I planned an entire day listening to my AV how incredible would be if I spend an entire day playing games and intoxicating myself.
As expected, the Euphoric Recall made me remember (romanticize) only the good part that I remembered doing this. But it was a lie. I could not remember how bad and depressing I felt every time that happened. Until I feel.
So the next time the AV tries to talk to me. I will use this experience, as the name itself already says: experience.
When I woke up on the third day of intoxication, with my heart beating harder and faster than if I had run, after almost 72 direct hours of Binge, I have to admit again: I'm powerless to alcohol. And always will be. Abstinence does not make me stronger. If I let the alcohol come into me again, I will continue powerless to this drug.
Now I have a fresh new memory of how not worth it and how I must remain vigilant.