SoberN

After 192 days, I started having this Alcoholic Voices in my head. I think everyone here was familiar to this:

- Am I really an alcoholic? I just handle this muth time...
- What if I trie to moderate?
- I should just give myself a day off. I deserve after all this work...

Then there was a holiday where I live, on Thursday. At 10 in the morning (the morning was always my favorite time to start) I had my first beer.

I will not go into details not to cause triggers or romanticizing alcohol for ours colleagues. So, to just cut off: At 5 in the afternoon I was on the couch, with headache, feeling sick, stomach upset and all that **** you guys know.

And I tought: - That's it, I feel terrible. I learned the lesson. I will not drink again. But the monster had already entered inside me again.

And guess whats? After this episode, took me 3 days, and a lot of beers, vodka and liquor (accompanied by depression, anxiety, crying, not eating right, not sleeping well, bad decisions and despair) later, to handle to stop again.

When I drink, I smoke like crazy. So after these days, I still won by present (I don't know if in english this expression make sense) a respiratory problem (sinusitis).

I'm already much better today. Let's to this again. 6 days since my last drink.

I wanted to share this with you for a reason:

- I want you to mirror in my story and the other hundreds of the same here. Do not believe the one sip. Do not believe this time is gonna be "just a beer". We have many other examples here: If you try to put your foot in this cold water, You'll be pulled in and will need a lot of strength to get out alone or a friend lifeguard to rescue you.

Alcoholism is a violent sea. No matter how good a swimmer you are. Don't play with the sea. You can drown or be taken far away from the coast.

My only mission continues: Avoid the first sip. Just for today.