One of the huge things that convinced me it was ok to divorce was the realization that my children were resenting ME. I thought I was protecting them, in turn, I was becoming a bitter and angry person in the constant throes of chaos.
I decided if my children are to be with me say, 90 percent of the time (it's actually more like 95%), that we can have a happy and peaceful life for that 90 percent. Through counseling they have learned to cope with the chaos they are exposed to the other time.