Well, alcohol addiction is called the family disease for a reason.
The effects of one person’s addiction ripple throughout the family like a stone thrown into a pond.
Again, my opinion: people change. What worked before doesn’t now, with or without alcohol added into the mix.
You have an opportunity now, Flavia, to live a full, unencumbered life.
You will not have to care for an aging, ailing spouse, as most heavy drinkers don’t age well, though they are no longer drinking.
You can, hopefully, connect with your children again.
It isn’t uncommon, as other posters have said, for the children to resent the partner who stayed.
Part of that, I think, is that you are the “safe” parent, unlike the alcohol addict.
They know they can pile it on, and you won’t jump down their throats.
If it were me, I would speak my truth—I thought it better for everyone if I stayed, though in retrospect, maybe it wasn’t—and let it go.
live your life. Be happy doing the things you like.
Sooner or later, the kids will get it.
Don’t let them beat you up. Kids, even adult ones, are good at that.