It is just part of the stages of recovery. It is normal for it to be darkest just before the light. The good thing about it is that everthing changes and you have the power to change it for the better. When you are ready you will climb out of your "dark hole" and make your way into recovery again. Just stop digging! Look up and start reaching out. Survival is good...start using your resources. Wanting to survive makes you use all of your strength and skills to fight for your life. Find your power to survive and be strong because giving up is not an option.