25 Days Sober
I decided to give up drinking at 9 pm on October 13th. Not sure if I am an addict, but I do think that drinking was starting to drain me emotionally. I stumbled upon this site, and have read countless others who have decided to give up their paths of destruction.
I just crossed into 25 days sober. My drink of choice was beer, and especially the high ABV styles. I don't have any real horror stories, so I guess I'm boring in that aspect.
What I have found on this site so far is a lot of honesty, and true happiness. I felt as if there was no joy in anything sober when drinking. I wasn't exactly sad, I just felt as if I was a shell. Void of any emotion, unless I was drinking, then I could empathize, laugh, whatever.
These 25 days haven't been easy, and I have checked in via google by typing one day sober, then two days sober, and so on and so on. My path has been surprise free this way. About 5 days in, my brain "turned on" shall we say. All of a sudden, I felt every emotion at the exact same time, anger, happiness, sadness, anxiety, everything. Of course this happens at work. Luckily, I held it together (thanks to mint gum) and survived.
Even as crappy as that day was, I didn't want to drink. Honestly, the only "drinking hell" I'm experiencing are using dreams. In my dreams I have a couple and move on. I feel that my brain is playing tricks on me, because I haven't been having a couple, unless you count growlers as a couple.
One post really clicked, I think it was 9 days. Someone said to remember, there is at least one person who wishes they had 9 days sober. To all those who have posted with more days sober than me, thanks, you all are awesome. To all those who have less time than myself, whatever time you have is probably more than someone struggling. For me, a bad day of "white knuckles" is still better than a "good day" drunk, and it's definitely better than waking up in a cold sweat, miserable, downing water to end the agony of being so dehydrated, only to wake up in another couple of hours hungover.
So, I guess here I am, saying, "Hi, Sober Recovery." I hope I can help when needed, and will continue to keep reading the posts when I feel I need help.