Dear Q,
I am so sorry you feel like your children hate you. I find the relationship with my kids frustrating sometimes because they are critical of me. I am honest with them and tell them I did the best I could. Hope yours will get some perspective as they age.
Been peacefully living apart from my H for over a year - I suppose I've already reaped that benefit prior to filing.
Will try to run through those questions : what would be better? What worse?