WMJ1012

Hi, I've been using the search feature on this site to try to understand why I have severe inflammation every time I'm exposed to older apartments. My income is low and some of these places have had water damage or active leaks or hidden mold usually in bathrooms, but I get really, really sick, my system just crashes.

This started happening after I experienced an enormous about of abuse 7 years ago and was left with severe trauma.

I feel that I'm stuffing feelings (rage, hurt, sadness, grief over so many losses) and numbing myself w/nicotine and caffeine.
I feel that if I put those secondary addictions down (I've been sober from alcohol and drugs a long time), maybe these feelings will move through me and I won't get so sick from moldy homes.

I also have multiple chemical sensitivity and I think it's because if the chemicals my brain started producing so fast during my traumatic event.

The other thing is I feel I have to speak up about what happened. A lot if people were involved and I don't think I can just stay quiet. I heard a lady in OA say she gets inflamed when there's a lot of dishonesty around her. Right now my stomach and fingers are very swollen from mold in yet another new apartment, and the doc says I, running on extremely low reserves. I developed huge thyroid nodules and my hair is falling out, from being exposed to mold again.

Any instinctive thoughts about what could be under all of this or how I can heal?