Originally Posted by Missmac35

So sorry you are going through this. I understand completly how incredibly painful it is to hang on and hope and hope that one day you will have the man without the drugs. The man who is a husband and father and puts those first. My situation is similar to yours and the merry go round never stops. After a while you start to sadly accept that with each relapse, each lie that it will never happen. You slowly detach and begin to put your guard up. You hear the promises but you don't allow yourself to believe them the same, more a hopefulness but knowing deep down its all lies. So sad but one day you will reach a point where you no longer care and will be so sick of it all the love you had for him will be gone and replaced by anger. Anger for all the hurt the lies the wasted time and for never stepping up to responsibilities. The hurt will lessen and it's more a dissapointment and a final acceptance that things will never as you dreamed with him.
Sadly your child will be caught up in the mess. The one thing that keeps me at my strongest is that I never ever want my boys to grow up like him and repeat the cycle. I pray in heart more than anything that I will not allow my sons to be witness to the chaos of addiction and for it to be normalised to them.
He has given you a gift by leaving as previous people have said. Take it with open arms and move on to a happier life without the burdens and a secure future for you son. Keep coming back here it's a lifeline wig people who truely understand what others do not