Well, I am quite impressed that you recognized the behavior, admitted it to yourself, to her, and to us, and are able to articulate how you feel about it, in writing. While you may feel this is not a big deal, it really is. When you have been reacting in this way for a very long time, it's hard to break the chain. However, with this sort of awareness, it will happen.
For myself, distraction is the biggest thing. I need something else to focus on, and to keep busy. For you it may be something else. You will figure it out, you are doing great!