Welcome to SR. Posting is a great start, so is really wanting to quit. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I have been through some painful losses too and they definitely ramped up my addiction at the time. For now focus on staying sober. It is possible to end this nightmare. Take it one day at a time. I don't do groups either......but don't write off the option if you need the extra help. The sense of connection and being part of a community on SR really helps. Keep posting.
Support to you.