Well folks,
the answer no one was waiting for- especially me. I have taken great care and time to reflect on ALL the comments offered here, by my psychoist and counselor on me getting very tired after running meetings- being abused and shoved and treated like a person who fixes other's problems- rather than a like minded aclie trying to do the right thing. So this is what I think.
These meetings I organise are there to offer and receive support for alcies to stop drinking and stay sober. By inherent default- the position and times of these meetings attract some very damaged people (me included). Such people when they get upset- become frustrated and turn to anger- and sometimes lash out. After all- where else and who else have some of these people got?
No where.
I could choose to walk away- patting myself on the back of a job well done, or that I do not need this crap or blah blah.
If I was so overwhelmed with fatigue or freaked out for my own safety- I would walk away.
I choose not to. Not because I cannot be replaced or because of I have a need to be needed or any other ego related agenda. I choose to stay- so I practice what I preach- patience, tolerance and doing the right thing by others.
Buddhism talks about being empty, selfless and seeing the common good over one's own wants. This is what I am attempting to do.
Also- these meetings are a microcosm of the outside world. So a good place for resistance training, getting out of my comfort zone and growing emotionally.
Plus some more mundane reasons.
So that is the way of it.
Now if you will excuse me I think I will take my beard for a walk.