It's happened!!! The day I've been dreaming about has arrived. I knew I'd be moon-walking, body-popping my way through today but what I'm feeling, it's so much more than sheer happiness. I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I could walk out my front door and go climb a mountain with no ropes or anything. I'm not going to do that. That would be crazy. I'd die for sure. And there's no mountains in London anyway. But the point is, I never thought I'd stay sober for a year and by doing something I never thought I'd do, for the first time in my life I'm really starting to believe in myself. Anything seems possible.
It feels amazing knowing that I beat my AV every day for a year. I've shown my AV that I'm the boss of me, I call the shots and I'm so much stronger than I thought I was. That doesn't mean my AV has gone away. It will be with me forever, lurking around, waiting for me to get too complacent. I know that no matter how hard I work rebuilding my life, if I start drinking again, it will all come crashing down fast. But you know what? I don't mind having my AV following me around through this life like a bad tempered shadow. Having my AV means I get to check in here every day with you lovely lot. If I didn't have my AV, I wouldn't know any of you. And meeting you guys has been the very best part of this last year.
I wish my year of sobriety had given me actual superpowers so I could fly round the world today and congratulate all my fellow milestoners in person (11 months Canadian Koala!!!) and say thank you to each and every one of you. Sadly, I don't seem to be able to fly. Maybe that happens after 2 years? I don't know, I'll have to wait and see. But please know that I can't begin to thank each of you enough. What happens here is a team effort. We celebrate each other's successes and support each other when we're down. It's a beautiful thing to be part of and I wouldn't have got my year and be feeling like this today if it wasn't for all of you. Thank you. I owe you all so much. Thank you.
And Pebbles.... I'm loving the avatar
Love you all so much. 24 more hours for me please xxx