Originally Posted by
BixBees505 
Be careful Darkling...that is exactly how it goes at first. Feeling good does not make staying sober easier, after the first blush. On the contrary.
Is there someone in your face-to-face life you can rehearse that plan with? Gives a plan flesh on the bones, I find. I have to tell a trick I have developed: I have to seize a moment when I am clear enough and content with sober enough to share my specific plan with someone. If I wait til my partner gets home, or wait for anything, really, I might have gotten all secretive by that time about my desire to drink. Instead, when I just start to dwell on something stupid, I literally force myself to text out to my partner my plans for the event or the day or later tonight...whatever is starting to get to me. Just a couple of bullets. It pulls me up short. My partner would not try to enforce a plan or bug me about it. So for me, it is a way of mentally checking myself.
Thank you Bix. You are right....I can feel myself sliding, and it is actually frightening. My partner is a big drinker and although generally supportive he doesn't see the seriousness of my addiction. If I talk to him about it, he says 'you have done so well, a few drinks won't hurt'. I know thats not true. I ended up in a nasty withdrawal when I quit this time. I had PAWS type symptoms that finally went away at around 80 days sober. This necessitated multiple medical investigations (all thankfully ok).
Its 138 days today. Finally I feel normal. The health anxiety and depression have gone. I don't want to mess this up. I know if I do, it is a choice I am making with the full facts of what will happen.
Thank you Bix for your advice and support.