Originally Posted by
Maudcat 
Hi, Shellart.
Welcome.
Glad you found us.
My opinion only: I think addicts like to keep relationships going, just in case they need something, money, a place to stay, emotional giveback.
If they can, they do just enough to keep the people who love them in their orbit.
I believe this is exactly right. When I was an active drinker, I did exactly what you describe. I found it easy to do as I had compartments in my brain. Different compartments for different people. Each one I quacked different quacks too.
In recovery I have spoken to other alcoholics who said they too used compartments or boxes in their brain to do this. I found it very easy. Automatic. I just naturally did it. Didn't plan it. It was just part of the whole addicted way of life.
I don't do it now. In fact now I am no longer an active drinker, I don't have the ability to do it. When drinking we use a different area of our brain to think with. Now I also consider it wrong.