Originally Posted by
Downthepath 
I have invited her to read each and every post I have ever made, but she has declined - even though I'm sure she'd secretly like to. Although I'm not sure she'd like this thread so much. I would like her to see the kind of things that we share and that there's no question of any impropriety. Perhaps that's my next thing to work on.
I usually hang out in the F&F forum, but want to comment on this specific part of your post, Dtp. I wouldn't suggest pressing her to read what you post on SR to "prove your innocence." I certainly wouldn't have wanted XAH to know every word I posted here or discussed in Alanon meetings--I needed and wanted the freedom and privacy to say EXACTLY what I was feeling, thinking, and going through, w/o filtering or censoring a thing. You have that same right (and need) to privacy, to say
exactly what is on your mind, w/o editing it. That is how the fine folks of SR can best help you, if you are as open and honest as possible.
From my perspective, I think I see at least a tiny smidge of codependency in your wife, which is so common for us spouses of alcoholics, and that is an issue she would likely benefit from addressing. Two whole, separate, healthy people can make a happy and healthy relationship. Two people fused into one being CANNOT. I totally agree w/biminiblue on this:
A little stand-aloneness in a marriage isn't a bad thing.
It's good that you acknowledge her concerns, but again, just as your recovery is YOURS, she likely has some recovering of her own to do, and that is HERS.
Congratulations on your recovery so far, and I wish you continued strength, clarity and happiness, Dtp!