Found another Vodka Bottle
Hello Everyone! I haven't written in over a month since school started! My husband has been living with his mother for almost two years now because of the drinking and adultry. I allow him to visit us (my two daughters and myself). Two weekends ago, while he was visiting, he was acting very oddly and I mentioned to him that I was concerned that he might have driven here while drinking. He denied it. Well, I know I shouldn't have, but I did go and check his car. I found a bottle of Vodka in his engine. Then last weekend, he asked if he could come back and promised to be sober. Feeling bad for him, I said alright. When he arrived, I thought I could smell alcohol, but he denied it. About a half an hour later, my 12 year old daughter came in from outside and told me that she found a bottle of Vodka in the bush near his car. She was so afraid that the friend she was playing with would spot it! She quickly ran back out and retrieved the bottle. She showed it to her father and he told her it wasn't his. I felt so bad for her as he made her feel like she had done something wrong. I told him that he was not going to come here and put us under anymore stress. He did end up admitting that he did put the bottle there. I asked him to leave and to not contact us for quite awhile.
I'm so afraid that I am hurting the girls by not allowing him here. I just feel that he will never stop drinking. He did go to rehab over a year ago, but within a month of his release, he was back to drinking. He does not attend AA anymore because he says it doesn't do anything for him. He has had his medical license taken away and I feel that nothing is going to stop him from drinking. My thought is that if I cut him off from us, maybe he will realize that even his family has had enough. Am I doing the right thing? My daughters (ages 9 and 12) have seen so much for their young ages. They tell me that they understand my decision, but I worry that maybe they are just trying to say what they think I want them to say. They say it is more peaceful when he isn't here. But they always add they wish he didn't drink. Please share your wisdom with me and let me know if there is a better way. I do attend Al-anon and open AA meetings. I'm always told that they can't give me advice, just support. Please share your life experiences with me so that maybe I can hear something that helps to lift this pressure off of my brain! Thanks so much!
SuzieA