Originally Posted by
TJD912 
Remember that these days, people are more aware of the psychology behind lots of things, the charmers, the fakers, and the quick-witted gents with money. People may smile at him, but they smell the alcohol on his breath, catch him in those moments when he shut "off" for a sec only to turn around to be the charmer again. They notice that he always has a drink. They are aware that nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors and that the more "life" someone has, the more fake their presentation of themselves. But, that is no consolation for you, I'm sure. Just know that more people are aware of the crap he puts out than you might think.
This is so true. I struggled with this A LOT in the beginning and by the time everyone else started to see the truth & make comments to me (I wouldn't go so far as to call them
all apologies, lol), I found that I no longer cared for their validation or needed it in any way. I hadn't waited around - I kept growing in my own recovery.
It had taken me what felt like forever but I also realized at some point that it wasn't anyone else's job to be outraged on my behalf - they all had different relationships with him & it wasn't really fair of me to expect any different from most of them. They weren't his wife. On the flip - I've encountered a good number of people that I can tell have an obvious problem, but it's not my business & it doesn't impact my life. Who am I to lay judgement on ANYONE when I should really be paying more attention to whatever's on my side of the street, you know? Just my opinion, obviously.