Old 10-23-2017, 11:51 AM
  # 245 (permalink)  
rmeatgt350
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Caledon, ON
Posts: 130
Interestingly, I haven't been counting this time. It feels too slow so I don't do it. I just checked and I am at 19 days today, 20 tomorrow. That'll be the longest for me in 8 years. This time has actually been harder, but I think it's because I know this is it, I just can not and will not drink. The panic attacks have subsided considerably, though they still sneak up on me now and then. The depression is still there, but I am working on that too. Brightenmeup; I agree, day to day is pretty boring and the weather doesn't help (sounds like yours is similar).

Now, on a positive note something happened to me just now which is the impetus for this post. This something has not really happened to me in as long as I can truly remember. I felt hope, and a really deep sense of contentment. It was so good I thought you know, the next time I feel "bored" I am going to remember that feeling; impossible to feel bored while feeling so damned content.

It's a hell of a struggle, but every day makes it a little easier.
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