Originally Posted by Jeepgirl79

So I have only made one post and then I went radio silent. Not sure if anyone remembers me but I'm just so happy for the connection to someone, anyone who understands this.

Side note - nobody knows what I am going through IRL and does make me wonder how many others are living, in secret, like me, suffering.

Husband went 5 weeks without drinking and he was doing well. Then 2 weeks ago he decided he'd taken a long enough break from it to see clarity and that he was able to limit himself and monitor himself on it. We argued, I disagreed, he swore he was fine and wasn't like "everyone else." I stood by helpless and watched how it would unfold.

Well, that took 2 weeks before it all blew up again. He had a couple beers one night. Then the liquor snuck into his Sonic drink again. Then last night I went to dinner for 2 hours with a girlfriend and came home to him stinking drunk, wasted, unable to walk or talk, and he swore he was just tired from the weekend. Right. I dug through the trash cans and found 5 cans of IPA beer, and then a half empty (big) bottle of liquor hidden in the garage (again) plus a half smoked pack of cigarettes, but that's a whole other (same?) issue.

We have kids, thankfully they are old enough to fend for themselves yet not quite old enough to know what's going on (6 and 10), but I was done. I didn't sleep last night. I cleaned the house like a mad person, mainly bc I didn't know what else to do. I put his bag of liquor and cigs in bed with him in the guest room, and I looked up divorce attorneys.

This morning he tells me that he now finally realizes he has a problem and that he has to entirely quit in order to not ruin his life. I told him he's already ruined it bc I am done. He stayed home from work to figure out what to do with his life. He doesn't want me done.

I don't know what to do. I'm for sure calling the attorney and getting info. I may make a counseling appointment to work out some of these feelings.

He texted me that he made an appointment with a counselor for this week.

I don't know. Why is life so hard? What to do? Wait to see if he changes, just this one-more-time? Get out asap? I hate to keep waiting around. If you knew how many times I've waited around...I'd look like a fool. But what if? Just what if? and what if it's all for nothing? if only we all had crystal balls...

This post is kinda rhetorical. I don't expect answers. Just needed to come on here and let it out.