Checkin in. I failed yet again. Miserably so. I dont want to use the term slip, or relapse, it was intentional and I chose it. I dont even know if I want to be sober. I certainly dont act like it . The excuses were many, but the real truth is because Im an alcoholic. Plain and simple,and and I chose those drinks. Nobody poured them down my throat. Im just weak, and a big time loser. I cant stand myself. Sorry for whining.
So I start over yet again. Im really sick and tired of this crap. The key is just dont pick up again, ever. Dont know if I can do that. Having serious doubts in my ability.
I hope this post doesnt discourage anyone. I just wanted to put it out there. I dont know what else to say. Please stick with your hard earned days friends. Its so not worth going back to square one.