iamme31

Well ... I have not learned how to drink while sleeping yet ... So I suppose that I managed to make it precisely 3 hours while sleeping before I woke up shaking and sweating. I sat there for .5 hours wondering if I really needed a drink or not.

4.5 ounces of vodka later ... I finally feel normal again and like I may be able to rest.

I tried very hard ... But I'm failing. I did manage to drink a bit less today ... But that is not enough.

I decided to wait until morning to call anyone from AA ... I just really didn't feel good about calling anyone so late at night ... So I came here.

I am going to make that call tomorrow. Get the ball rolling and find real help.

My husband will likely think I am being dramatic and could just drink less. In his defense, until now, I would have likely thought anyone could just drink less too ... But now that I am walking this path myself ... I can see much more clearly. This is not a simple path ..

My mother and siblings ... I just don't have it in me to break their hearts. I've never known anyone with my drinking problem ... But my father was an alcoholic and committed suicide when I was a baby. I don't want to scare them.

I've never wanted to harm myself but they may not understand.

So ... I really think that AA and you guys will be my new support network.

Thank you to everyone who has responded!