My sister had my extended family, her friends and even me once wrapped around her little finger. She was always the more popular and vivacious one, and when her marriage collapsed I even took her side even though she was the one who had the affair.
But slowly but surely the veneer began to disintegrate and the more dysfunctional she became the more people began to step away from her. There are moments where I actually feel sorry for her. To be on the constant lookout for ego kibbles because you don't know how to respect and love yourself is a pretty sorry place to be.
Then I remind myself that she prefers pity over introspection. Then the anger comes back, and I'm back to all shields up.
But to articulate all that just makes me sound like a vindictive bitch. Time is a better messenger than I could ever be.
And although the anger can protect me, I don't want to spend all day looking at it when I've got better things to do. Who wants to spend their lives just staring at a wall?