My RAH was/is the same way. Even close people who have seen him belligerent and aggressive still say he's such a great guy and I'm just exaggerating because I'm bored! It hurts to say the least, and it also p*sses me off because everyone discredits what I say and it feels like they choose his word over mine, all the time! They don't live under our roof and he has painted a different picture for them all to see I guess. This is one of the many unfair things about being married to an A. They are master manipulators. Why do the spouse and kids always get the worst of their behavior, we are the ones that love them the most and do the most for them! I will never understand.