Oh boy.....
(((((Hugs))))) to ya'. How I can relate.
Your AH sounds so much like my XAH.
He was the nicest man on our block, in our church, etc., etc. Always helping family members and the community while our own family and home was neglected AND abused.
IF ONLY "they knew". If they knew what was going on inside our home.
I lost many friends (wives of our "couple friends"), and church friends when I finally left my AH.
Even some of my family members were surprised. My mom knew a little.
(Sadly, this is a disease perpetuated by Keeping Secrets.)
Except our kids knew. Not all, but they knew a lot and saw enough to be damaged. And I still occasionally beat myself up for staying so long. (But now, I let those moments go VERY quickly).
Hang in there. Know that some day the truth or at least part of the truth shall be revealed. (It was, IME).
It's OK to vent here!!!
(And perhaps to a trusted real life person, when you find one. Al-Anon possibly? Or therapist?)
