I knew I needed to stop the vicious cycle my life had become. Living in ground hog day was driving me insane. I thought about taking my life at one point. Then I got a special present from a judge. Mandatory AA meetings. I'm not a religious person so,had never thought AA was for me and I don't really 'work' the steps nor attend that often anymore,but I let the steps guide the way I live my life now. It also opened up a spiritual side of my brain/thinking that had been hidden away for far too long.