I always encourage people to re-read their old posts - or read someone elses in this forum or the Newcomers section.
Remember what drinking was really like for you, and accept that it's not going to be different this time, because it never is.
You can open up the door to the things you've striven hard to leave behind...or you can keep going and see where sobriety and recovery take you.
To me there's no choice DDD
D