Hey there, just checking in to add my support. I completely relate to being 150% convinced that this is the last time, wanting sobriety with everything you have and then seemingly out of nowhere dropping the ball and drinking. Like you, it has often happened when things seem to be going pretty well. I don't know why I sabotage myself like that. I am trying to do things differently this time and am posting here daily, working very closely with a psychologist to keep my alcoholism and the problems it caused in the forefront of my mind. I generally think it is a good idea to stay positive and bright, but that has not worked for me in the past. So while I am not wallowing in misery, I am taking time every day to remember the negative consequences of drinking and plan on doing so for a good long while until I really and truly feel solid in my sobriety. Be that a year, two years, five years... I don't know, but I never want to go there again.