waxfruit

Badge, thank you! but I am no hero by any means. I just got lucky that the bartender, whom I know, who has watched me struggle this year, just happened to be there. She reminded me that I was once an inspiration to her, back when I had gotten almost 30 days in and she said, "if she can do it, I surely f'n can!" That reminded me of how bad I was. How many times I blacked out there. How many times someone had to drive my car home, how angry I get, the horrible decisions I make, those omg, the next morning, what did I just text to people and how terrible it feels. It's poison. It feels like poison going-down.
I can't believe it was in my hand for a good 10 minutes before I passed it back.
Believe me, I'm still a bit shaken.
And I wanted to join my soon to be coworkers at an event tonight to raise money for the shelter, but that's being held at my other "watering hole." Maybe it was supposed to happen the way it played out. I may have surely wanted to celebrate with the people I've been working with for the last 5 months. For a moment I thought, I can have just one. Who am I kidding?!!!
I've purposely not gone out with anyone from the shelter, as to protect myself from making an a** out of myself and others.

Just a reminder * play the tape all the way through *

Thanks you guys for all your support!
I'm now in bed and staying here....