Glad your back Charlie,
I can relate to your comment of it getting worse and worse each time. My last 6 months before coming on SR, I was trying harder than ever to stay stopped and each time I drank, I sank deeper and deeper into the gates of hell. Each time it became harder and harder to recover and get back up. The guilt , shame and remorse became stronger.
Pain... Pain was the great motivator for me. It brought me to my knees to the point of wanting to put a bullet in my head. So..... I decided to get help and went back to AA and joined SR. At 45 days sober, life is getting better day by day.