It's the death of what we thought we'd have, even though it slowly fell apart long ago. It's not the death of the here and now; the current chaos is what helps us leave. But the severing of what we thought it was going to be...that's hard. There's so much trauma associated with all of it...all of the emotions you are feeling will help to eventually complete the cycle of trauma and you can emotionally take a deep breath. It will happen.